On the Ledge

The day before SURGERY....

Thank you to Susie, my bariatric nurse coordinator. She talked me off the ledge. I called her in a panic telling her I was having second thoughts and asked how many people cancelled their surgeries at the last minute. Susie was very reassuring and comforting as she answered my concerns. She reminded me of all of the reasons I was having the surgery. I mentioned my concern about feeling and seeing the port, and she told me it was much like wearing glasses. It is different, but you learn to adapt over time. She also mentioned some different port options and placements, that would minimize that concern. I really am not normally that wishy washy nuts...but I have one little devil on my shoulder whispering, "You can do this on your own, look how much weight you've already lost on the liquid diet, you don't have THAT much to lose...". Then there is the little angel on the other shoulder reminding me, "How many diets have you already been on, how long have you worked to make this happen, it is an opportunity, you will be healthier..."

Am I the only one that goes thru these presurgery thoughts??? Maybe I should have spent more time with the psychologist. :)

Thinking of my band neighbors who are being banded today,

http://ellenslapbandblog.blogspot.com/ - Ellen
http://thequeenbeeslapbandlife.blogspot.com/ - Miss Vickie

Reminder of my WHYS today to keep me focused...

Longer life span

Quality of life

More energy

Knees/walking/back/bladder

Healthier blood pressure & cholesterol
Stop avoiding people I haven’t seen in awhile
More active

Not be embarrassed to wear a swimsuit

Look younger
Self Esteem

Weigh less than my husband

Better clothes choices
Lingerie
High heels
Not mind having photos taken
More attractive to spouse
Healthy Role Model for children

I've decided to name my band "Bogart" nickname "Bogey", kind of like a distinguished English butler who is invisible, but provides superior service with a touch of class!

My best tip for the 2 week liquid phase is that Carnation Sugar Free Instant Breakfast is the BEST tasting protein drink. My dr. has us add 6 tbsp. of non-fat dry milk to increase the protein.
I decided on my REWARD goals.

25 lb loss = facial & massage
50 lb loss = IPhone
75 lb loss = IPad

Now time to back away from the computer and do BUSY WORK!

See everyone on the other side. I promise. :)

I'm getting obsessive reading links about lapband. Here are a couple of good ones:

http://www.annecollins.com/diets/lap-band-obesity.htm

http://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/lap-band-problems-lap-band-complications.html

I was getting scared reading about slipped bands, fills, unfills, missed ports when filled, pbing...etc. on all my blogs.

A couple of general questions out there to calm my nerves:

1) How often do you have a PB incident? (about once a week, once a month or less often)

2) Can you get thru the day without thinking of your band? Does it actually become part of your lifestyle and you don't have to think about it constantly?

3) Can you physically feel your port?

In a way, I think I would feel like Iron Man with a foreign body in me. :)

Thank you for your input. You guys are the greatest!

BTW, latest movie update...took oldest daugther to see Robin Hood last night for a girl's night out. It was violent, but good if you like Russell Crowe. We both gave it 2 1/2 out of 4 stars.

The Good Old Days...Didn't Appreciate them Enough

I promise these are probably the only pix I will ever have up of me in a swimsuit. :) I kept these old pix in my Weight Watchers book to remind me of what I was working for. These pix were taken 25 years ago, when I weighed 127 at 5'5". At the time I was obsessed with my weight and thought I was pudgy. I was doing modeling and commercial print work, and I was always about 10 - 15 lbs heavier than everyone else.

Now many pounds later, I'm not at all obsessed with my weight...I'm just comfortable. I think less about being overweight now than I did 25 years ago. It has become less of a priority in between taking care of children and work. I DO think I need to lose weight; it just is not the obsession that it was in the past. Neither scenario was healthy and a bit to the extreme. My new goal is to focus on being HEALTHY, and being a HEALTHY role model for my daughters.

Day 6 of liquid diets, ho hum...getting a bit boring. We were at the grocery store last night and I told my husband I wanted to buy a small bag of Salt and Vinegar potato chips. I did NOT want to eat them, just lick them. I promise...no eating, just licking. That counts as liquid diet if I just lick, right??? Hmmm...guess I'm craving salt.


I paid my portion of the hospital bill earlier this week and I told the financial consultant, "I guess this makes it real, can't back out now. I bet you get a lot of people who tell you that." She said no, that I was the first. I think it was because my dr. planted the seed last week during our group visit. At the end of the presentation he said that if anyone changed their mind about the procedure, they could walk away and he would support that. He wants people that are 110% committed to the procedure and the work that goes with it. I wonder how many people do change their mind shortly before the surgery. I have worked too hard to turn back now, but sometimes I rub my smooth fat little tummy and say "I'm sorry. Eventually,you will have a few scars, but you will be smaller and HEALTHIER! " Just a few pre-surgery jitters on my part.

Shout out to Gen...great suggestion to add SHOPPING to things to do instead of EAT list. Excellent addition!

I have two bandster buddies who are getting banded May 24 (the day before me). I'm so excited to share this experience with them across the miles.

http://ellenslapbandblog.blogspot.com/ - Ellen

http://thequeenbeeslapbandlife.blogspot.com/ - Miss Vickie

Check them out and give them support and virtual hugs!

Okay, Day 4 of liquid diet. Truthfully, it is getting easier. I think a lot of my eating was habitual.
I'm going to ask my doc to take a picture of my liver when he does surgery and it better look darn tiny and cute for all of this work!

Today I'm going to share a list we did at our preop class. We had to list 10 things to do besides EAT. :) "Eating while happy, sad, frustrated, bored can cause excess calorie intake and prevent weight loss. Here are 10 things I can do to combat these feelings and help achieve my weight loss goals." Then is has the hotline numbers for the two dietitians in the practice.

I could come up with more than 10 and my dh added his own to the list. :)

1. blog (that can kill a lot of time)

2. read

3. walk

4. exercise

5. Games with family

6. movie

7. play with dog (see pic above)

8. stamp

9. call a friend

10. sleep

11. bubble bath

I have added a picture of my PERFECT (not) dog above. She is a soft coated wheaten and VERY spoiled.

Happy Hump Day!

One Week to Go

I have posted my official BEFORE pix. I'm wearing my Chico's Travelers outfit in basic black which covers most of my wardrobe. We all know how "slimming" black can be. :) I carry most of my weight at the top. When I took my measurements, I was pretty much a perfect rectangle. As long as something is perfect, I guess that is good. Also, wearing my comfie flat Sketchers shoes. Can't wait to wear less black and more color. Can't wait to wear cute shoes; I have lots, but they kill my feet. And finally, can't wait to get rid of that double/triple chin!!!

Next week at this time I should be out of surgery. My surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am and my doctor generally takes about 25 min for a lap band and he runs early.

Doing better on my liquid lifestyle. I like Carnation Sugar Free Instant Breakfast. You can add nonfat dry milk powder for extra protein. I've lost one pound in three days. It is a bitty start. My goal is to lose 3-4 more pounds this next week.

Followers...If you have a blog and I'm not following you, please let me know. I try to read your blogs from start to finish. THANK YOU to everyone for your words of encouragement, support and humor. :)

Liquid Lifestyle Sucks

Okay, Edward Cullen has a liquid lifestyle and he deals with it. :) So far I'm on Day 3 of my 10 days of preop liquids. I am playing games in my head and looking for loop holes.

Day 1: Had two shakes, but enjoyed grazing at my daughter's after prom party
Grazing included a strawberry daiquiri, three chicken wings, cheese & sausage cubes
I justified this as being Day 10, so surely it was not as critical

Also, had a small popcorn at the movies

Day 2: Had a slice of cake at church in the am for the children's program

Had one protein shake, then at dinner at 4 small bites of baked, skinless chicken and three small ears of corn
I justified this as being Day 9, surely not a big deal and most of the dinner food was healthy

Day 3 (today): Had a shake for breakfast and two slices of whole wheat toast with a smidge of peanut butter

I justified this as I have not had peanut butter in a LONG time and it was high in protein

Do you see a pattern of justification here??? It explains a lot regarding the failure of past diets.

I have been using myfitnesspal.com and have since recorded what I SHOULD eat the rest of the day and hopefully that will keep me on better track.

My dr. said no ALEVE (for my arthritis) until after surgery, so my body is very achy and OLD feeling.

Thanks for the tips on chewing gum for the need to chew on something phase.

Also, thanks to Linda from Dinnerland for sharing that I should be okay without a one week follow up.

Day 1 - Liquid Lifestyle

Okay, I figured Liquid Lifestyle sounded much better than Liquid Diet...BORING!!!

I've had a busy few days with finishing up my school year. My surgery is on May 25th and I'm teaching four weeks of summer school starting on June 7th. However, I have two days of curriculum study, a week after my surgery. Only problem, is that I will miss my one week follow up. The nurse didn't seem to think it would be a problem, since it is not like gastric where I would have a port to be removed. She said I could call if I was having problems. If I'm doing fine do you think it is life or death for the first week check up? My drs. office is an hour and a half away from my work; so it is not like I can pop in and get back to the meeting.

Today is day one of the liquid lifestyle. I'm CRAVING something to chew. I miss chewing. I have had two protein shakes today and chicken broth. We are planning on going to the movies shortly to see "Letters from Juliet". I know this may be bad, but I'm planning on having a small popcorn...I figured since it was Day 10 I could fudge one small bit. How bad am I???

I did take my youngest daughter to the mall today and was able to go to the mall and not buy lunch from the food court. I LOVE the teriyaki chicken and rice dinner; so it is good to know that I can go to the mall without eating everytime. Do check out the cute purse I got from the perfume counter. So, if I give up eating, will shopping be my new addiction???

Tonight was also my oldest daughter's jr. prom. I love to see the young kids dressed up for proms. Very magical!!! I was going thru some of her pix with her good friend, and noticed that her friend had a picture of her with her mom in her dress. That is why I want to lose weight so I won't be embarrassed to be in the picture too.

Also, had my second and final preop meeting last Thurs. We spent another hour and a half with the dietitians, going over diet before and after surgery. They brought in a gastric bypass patient who was six weeks out from surgery. He shared his story. Then the nurse talked about what to expect before, during and after surgery. That is it for now. Next time I meet up with my doctor and staff will be at the hospital. I'm looking forward to a calmer week next week where I can catchup on blogging.

Happy weekend everyone!